The Battle in the Cupboard
by Zinnia QueenOfChaos
Summary: SEQUEL to Angel of Eden & Creators of Chaos! Harry and Draco are in a cupboard after all the chaos has finally calmed down. The only chaos left is the emotional one between them. Disclaimer: I don't own the characters; J. K. Rowling does. WARNING: Mature Adult content, gay sex. 8th year fic.
1. The Battle in the Cupboard begins

**THIS IS THE SEQUAL which continues straight from the part 1, **_**Angel of Eden & Creators of Chaos**_

Zinnia says: Behind every good author there is a good beta reader, mine is _**keria1123**_ so I'll dedicate this story for her since she's picked up the feathers someone else tore off from my wings.

I don't own the characters.  
This is pure Draco/Harry with a minimal amount of other characters.  
**Warnings: gay sex.**

Let me know what you thought about this story. I hope you liked this one.

_**Chapter 1 The Battle in the Cupboard begins**_

"Hi," Harry said awkwardly, suddenly embarrassed when he realised he'd been staring at Malfoy for a bit too long.

The Slytherin was staring at him in silence before finally saying, "Want to come in for a cup of tea?"

Harry was too dumbfounded to answer but managed to stand up before nodding.

Malfoy stepped outside of the cupboard and took his place in front of the door with a moon crescent on it, Harry walked over to the one with the sun on it.

"Open up, Zinnia," Malfoy called out and immediately the sun and moon began to spin.

Once they were inside Harry looked around. It took him a moment to realise Malfoy had picked up the necklace Harry had forgotten on the corner, and put it somewhere out of sight.

"Why did we have to step inside together?" Harry suddenly asked, still looking around, trying to get a hint of how long Malfoy had been inside the cupboard but he couldn't tell.

"Something to do with the time synchronizations, don't ask me to explain in detail, I find the whole non-time thing a bit complicated." Malfoy said before turning around and stepping inside the kitchen. Harry followed after him and stopped by the kitchen door.

He felt like they were in a really unfamiliar ground, the easiest thing was to stay by the door and just keep watching the blond boy in awkward silence. What was he supposed to say?

"Uhm, yeah, I think all the time stuff is quite… incomprehensible." Harry muttered and ended the sentence with a loud gulp, which the blond boy didn't hear because he was pouring water into a kettle.

When it became clear to Harry Malfoy was avoiding looking at him and didn't start a conversation, Harry asked him, "So, what happened after I'd left? Did the Aurors come? How did you get out?"

Malfoy opened a cupboard and put two mugs on the counter,  
"They went into a rage, couldn't understand how you'd manage to 'apparate' out since it was supposed to be impossible. Then it turned into regular meeting until the Aurors showed up. I used a portkey and didn't stay to see what happened to the rest of them."

The blond boy turned around, leaned on the counter for support and crossed his arms over his chest. Harry wanted to go over to him but didn't have the guts, so instead he said,

"I'm glad you got out."

The Slytherin shrugged and kept his gaze on the floor. Harry fidgeted with his fingers before saying,  
"I mean… I'm really glad you got out. I was... I was a bit worried, actually."

He didn't know whether he was supposed to say thing like that – after all it was Draco Malfoy he was talking to. He didn't have any experience of talking with the boy in friendly terms and it all felt very awkward and unfamiliar.

The kettle made an irritating, whistle like sound, Malfoy grabbed it and poured the hot water into a teapot before asking, "Did you really expect me to screw up?"

Harry shook his head before realising the blond hadn't looked at him and wouldn't notice,  
"No, I didn't. I just didn't know how you planned to get out so…"

When Malfoy didn't say anything but turned back around to lean on the counter, Harry swallowed and forced himself to walk over to the boy. He stepped right in front of the Slytherin, who still kept his eyes firmly fixed on the floor, or right now possibly on Harry's shoes.

They were both quiet for a while before Harry said,  
"Actually I think you did a good job. I don't think I ever could've planned something like that if I had to. Which I of course don't but… I mean I'm sort of impressed by all that. It took a lot of effort."

Malfoy shrugged but otherwise didn't react. Harry thought for a while before saying,  
"You saved my life. Thank you."

Malfoy finally raised his head and looked at Harry in the eyes but he was glaring stonily, "No, I didn't."

"Yes, you did. I had absolutely no idea there was something as big as that going on. They would've got me and you know that." Harry insisted a bit taken aback by the heated glare Malfoy was giving him.

Malfoy dropped his gaze once more. Harry didn't know what to make of it, it seemed like the Slytherin was embarrassed. Harry pushed his glasses a bit higher on his nose and wondered what he should say next.

Again they were both silent for a moment, Harry was standing so close he thought his shoes might touch Malfoy's bare toes if he took even a little step closer.

He did take a step closer and then braced himself for an outburst of anger as he put his both hands on Malfoy's hips and leaned closer until he could press his chin on the boy's shoulder.  
He could feel how tense Malfoy got before realising Harry wasn't just going to give a hug but was in fact planning on staying there.  
Malfoy sighed as he relaxed a bit but didn't wrap arms around Harry or anything else for that matter. They stood like that what felt like a long time before Harry finally had the courage to put his arms around the boy and keep him a real embrace.

The awkwardness of it seemed to subside as the time (which wasn't even real time in fact) grew longer and longer. Finally Harry thought it felt almost natural. Almost being the keyword. He took a deep breath, inhaling the blond boy's neck.

Then he pulled back a little and said, "I think you should've told me though. I think you should've told me when we were in the cupboard."

Malfoy met Harry's gaze and the grey colour was piercing, "You wouldn't have believed me and you know that."

Harry wasn't intimidated by the coldness in the eyes, nor the voice that had gone all tense.  
Harry asked,  
"Why are you so sure? I think I might've believed you if you told me everything."

Malfoy's glare only burned harder,  
"No, you wouldn't have! And you know why? Because of him, you should've seen your eyes! Your eyes were filled with… with... You were drooling all over yourself every time he was in the same room as you! Just like everyone else did! Are you in love with him?"

Harry's hadn't even noticed when his fists had clenched into tight balls, nails digging in his palms as his tone reached the same volume as Malfoy's,

"What? NO, of course I'm not!"

Malfoy's tone was so hard and the words were spat out with force, Harry wouldn't have been surprised if he had gotten the boy's spit all over his face along with the words,

"Why are you blushing then!"

"I am not blushing!" Harry shouted.

"You're a terrible liar, Potter!" Malfoy spat and tried to push past Harry and leave the kitchen but Harry followed right after him, shouting to his back,

"I admit I had a crush on him at first but so what? I had no idea he was using some black veela magic on me! What the hell is your problem, Malfoy?"

When Malfoy didn't stop, Harry tried to grab him by the arm but Malfoy pulled his arm free with unnecessary force. He pushed Harry back a little but Harry wasn't prepared for the push, lost his balance and fell down on his back.

"Don't touch me!" Malfoy said but there was less volume now. He took a step back and watched as Harry on the floor leaned on his elbows for support and said,

"Look, I don't know what your problem is but after what happened tonight I don't think you and I should go back to hating each other."

Malfoy was glaring at him, "Yeah? What if I don't share your opinion?"

Harry narrowed his eyes a bit, "Listen to me, Malfoy. I won't let you take us back to where we once were."

Malfoy crossed his arms over his chest, "And exactly how are you going to stop me from doing that?"

Harry narrowed his eyes even more, "Zinnia, can I give Draco Malfoy a task?"

"Certainly," said the Cupboard.

"Don't you dare, Potter!" Malfoy yelled but Harry was already forming the words on his lips,

"Malfoy's task will be to kiss me for ten minutes straight."

Harry still didn't get up from the floor, he thought it might be unnecessary in case Malfoy would launch at him.

What he didn't expect to happen was Malfoy all of a sudden pulling out his wand and saying, _"Incarcerous."_

Tight ropes appeared out of nowhere and wrapped tightly around Harry, who automatically tried to fight back before realising the ropes would get tighter if he struggled. He tried to relax; the ropes seemed to get even tighter with every breath he took. He couldn't reach his own wand.

Malfoy stepped into his view and pointed the wand at Harry, "Take it back, Potter. Tell her you take the task back."

Harry admitted his own defeat as the ropes seemed to try to prevent him from breathing all together. This wasn't worth it_. Fuck you, Malfoy_,

"Zinnia? I want to take the task back."

"I'm sorry. Tasks will have to be carried through when they've been given. It's impossible to undo them otherwise." The Cupboards voice was ever so calm.  
It should've been funny how calm it was in the middle of all their shouting. He was certain the Cupboard understood what was going on but she seemed like a machine without any feeling to the situations.

He looked Malfoy in the eyes, the boy looked so angry Harry wondered why on earth he had come inside this cupboard in the first place. It was Draco Malfoy, what had Harry been expecting of him?

Malfoy was glaring, "I knew I made a big mistake by letting you read the letter. What are you trying to achieve by all this?"

Harry could barely breathe and tried to speak without moving, "I told you. I just want us to stop fighting with each other."

"What makes you think you can change anything by forcing me to kiss you?"

Harry didn't know the answer but tried to glare back, "Well… you managed it pretty well not more than a week ago so I hardly think it's going to be that difficult to you. Besides… I'd take it back right now if I could."

"You think that now that you read the letter and know what happened to me that night you might be able to make that happen again so that you could humiliate me? Well, I don't think so. It's not going to ever happen again. I will not allow you to… I will not allow this.  
You're making a big fool out of yourself here, Potter. I was planning on staying in this cupboard for years so you just ruined your own possibilities of getting out.  
Welcome to Draco Malfoy's bed and breakfast! Unfortunately there's no bed or breakfast for you in this place!"

With that Malfoy turned around and started walking towards hid bedroom, Harry shouted after him, "I wasn't going to humiliate you in any way! I don't even know what you're talking about!"

The only answer was a loud thud when Malfoy slammed his bedroom door shut.

Harry's whole body was aching in the tight embrace of the ropes which finally came loose and disappeared after about five minutes.

He stayed on the floor taking deep breaths and thought about everything; the conversation and everything that had happened during the autumn.

Had Malfoy referred to the fact he had become hard? Why would he think Harry was going to humiliate him over that after what had happened to Harry in the cupboard a week ago? He was the one who should be feeling utterly embarrassed, not Malfoy.  
Why had it been such a big deal Harry had had a crush on Dene? So what? Harry wouldn't have had the crush in the first place if he knew there was black magic involved.

Unless Malfoy was jealous of Dene, yes, that must be it. Although Malfoy had written in the letter he had hated the boy. The face though; the expression on Malfoy's face when Harry had Dene had gotten out of the cupboard. It looked too real.  
Harry had thought Malfoy had fallen in love that time – maybe he had.  
Maybe he had fallen in love with Dene even if he had hated him too. That couldn't be an impossible thing to happen, right?

After all, Harry did have some kind of feelings to Malfoy as well, even though they had always been more like enemies.

That's it then. He doesn't want to kiss me because he still has feelings for Dene.

Why did I let myself believe for a second he might even like me?

_He had written he thought I looked adorable._

Harry stood up from the floor and headed for the loo. He decided to take a shower although he didn't have any other clothes with him and wouldn't want to put these same ones back on after the shower.

He went to the kitchen wearing only the Slytherin green towel. He put the kettle on and poured out the tea that had gone cold from the teapot.  
After he had made himself some tea and sat down on the table, he let himself stroke the elegant Malfoy crest on the tea mug with his thumb while thinking;  
I'm an idiot. I've locked myself in a cupboard with Malfoy.  
Should I tie him up and force him to kiss me so I can get out after that?  
No, he wouldn't probably do anything if I forced him, he'd bite my tongue off.  
I should simply wait until he relents. He doesn't want me here anyway, so he's bound to do that sooner or later.

He sat there for what felt like a really long time stroking the infuriating (but elegant nevertheless) crest and sipping the tea that had gone cold without him noticing.

He was hungry so he walked over to the fridge, which looked just like a muggle fridge and tried to open it. It didn't open. "Alohomora." He pointed his wand at the door but it still wouldn't open.

"Zinnia? Why can't I open the door of the fridge?"

"Draco said there's no breakfast for you in this cupboard. It means you cannot get to the food supplies."

Harry's eyebrows shot up, "How is he able to order what I can or cannot do in here?"

"He gave me a task. My task is to be his servant as long as he feels a need for it. I'm reacting to his wishes whenever I'm able to do so." The Cupboard answered.

Harry gasped, "He enslaved you?"

"He gave me a task." The Cupboard answered seeming indifferent.

Harry blinked a couple of times, "Doesn't that bother you?"

"No," the Cupboard answered simply.

Harry asked with a slight desperation in his voice, "Can he give me tasks too?"

"Not while you two are under the task you gave him."

Harry released a breath before asking, "What else can you do except keep the fridge door shut?"

"I don't know. I only know currently you cannot enter his bedroom either without his permission."

Harry rubbed his forehead with his fingers, even the lightning scar seemed to itch with irritation.

Harry sighed and stood quiet for a while before asking, "Have you had a lot of conversations with him?"

When the Cupboard didn't answer, Harry asked, "Zinnia?"

"Yes?"

"Can you answer my question?"

"I didn't know your question was directed to me. I thought you were talking with him. Yes, I've had discussions with Draco."

"Are you allowed to tell about your discussions to me?" Harry asked, fearing he might cause the Cupboard suffering if Malfoy had given her orders which Harry would try to break.

"Yes. He hasn't wished for me to not speak to you."

Harry sighed, he wanted to keep the conversation going although he didn't know what else he could ask, "Do you know why the kitchen fridge looks like a muggle fridge?"

"He tries to get used to some things muggle." The Cupboard answered.

"Why's that?" Harry asked, his curiosity was beginning to wake up. He suddenly remembered how well Malfoy had known about muggle videogames during the poetry class.

"He has several plans in case the Aurors should try to catch him. One of which is to get a false identity as a muggle and live amongst them. He's determined to live a life with as much freedom as possible. He will not go to Azkaban. He will not take part in a war if there ever should become one."

Harry muttered, "I guess that makes sense in some level. Wait… is that why he's been building rooms inside this cupboard? He said he'd been thinking about spending years here – that wasn't a joke? Is one of his plans the possibility of living inside this cupboard for the rest of his life?"

"Yes," the Cupboard answered and then continued,

"Time for him has stopped while he's inside so he doesn't grow old and he can't die a natural death. If he ever gets out of here, then he will return to the same moment in reality from which he came in."

Harry frowned, "If he ever gets out? Why wouldn't he get out?"

"In order to get out he would have to do the task you gave him." The Cupboard answered with a voice as nonchalant as always.

"Oh, right. I forgot that one." Harry sighed. Then he asked, "Uhm… am I all wrong or is there really a library in here somewhere?"

"Ah yes, right here," The Cupboard answered and a golden doorframe appeared in the kitchen wall.

Harry blinked, "You enter the library from kitchen?"

"Yes."

Harry rolled his eyes and didn't bother asking why on earth the entrance to the library was from the kitchen.

The library was filled with bookcases, most of which were still empty so Harry assumed all the building up Malfoy had done wasn't as easy as he had made it sound in the letter.

"Zinnia, is he still building something in here?" Harry asked.

"Yes. This room right here," The Cupboard answered and a golden door frame appeared in the wall which was empty of bookcases.

Harry opened the door and gasped. There was a floor of golden material, perhaps the same size as the library floor but what had made him gasp was the fact that there were no walls or ceiling.  
Only pitch-black emptiness.  
It looked somehow extremely frightening. Was that really… emptiness?

He went down on his knees and crawled on the golden floor until he reached the edge of the golden material and reached his hand out. He pulled it quickly back as he realised his hand didn't meet any obstacle.  
_There's no walls and the floor ends here, what on Merlin's name is this?_

He was suddenly feeling shaky and nervous as he crawled all the way back to the door frame and because of the nervousness automatically yelled, "Expecto patronum!"

Light shot out of his wand and started to take its form but it didn't form a stag.  
_What is that?_ Harry wondered as he tried to hold on to the happiest memory of his life while the spell was suddenly turning into a something big with wings, _it's_ _a dragon._

The dragon shot out into the darkness and seemed to fly in the emptiness as long as Harry could see it, until it became just a tiny dot before disappearing.

Harry slammed the library door shut, leaned against it and shouted from the top of his lungs, "Argh!"

He kept shouting as long as he had air in his lungs and slid down against the door until he was firmly sitting on the floor.

Malfoy had appeared on the library threshold looking just as shocked as Harry probably did, shouting, "What's wrong?"

Harry felt like he was panicking all of a sudden, not sure why, he was stuttering, "What… what is that room?"

"Nothing yet but I was planning on making it another bedroom. Your bedroom, in fact." Malfoy smirked and frowned.

_I've gone mental, I'm losing my mind, I'm crazy, I'm insane…_

Harry started shouting again with all the strength his voice and lungs could provide him with until he felt his vision blurring and then going black.


	2. A Little more Drama

Zinnia says: Poor Harry's a total mess and so clueless…

Chapter 2 _**A little more Drama**_

When Harry woke up, he felt warm and nice. He stretched a little but it was difficult since there was something heavy in front of him. The thing blocking his movements was warm, felt like silk on his nose and fingers and smelled of… Malfoy?

His eyes flew open and he sat up quickly. Everything looked a bit blurry since he wasn't wearing his glasses and it was quite dark in the room and… he was in a bed. Malfoy was there.  
Right there on his right side, under the very same green silk blanket with Harry. Harry had been sleeping against the Slytherin's back. _I've gone insane_, was his only thought repeating itself in his head.

Harry couldn't help but gasp as he realised something, "Why am I naked?"  
He asked Malfoy with a confused tone. He wasn't just naked but he was actually sporting a morning wood too. What a great way to wake up.

"You blacked out wearing nothing but a towel and since I didn't want to wake up our sleeping beauty by dressing him up in my clothes, I thought you could sleep just well without the towel too." Malfoy muttered, apparently all sleepy as he yawned at the end of the sentence.

Harry was way too embarrassed to even take a look at the Slytherin so he asked, "Do you even know what Sleeping Beauty means?"

"Of course I do, I'm not an idiot! I've taken a lot of muggle studies lately and since many students have used that phrase in a conversation, it was easy to remember."

The tone was surprisingly calm, Harry thought, but it was probably due to the fact Malfoy had just been asleep.

"Oh," was all he could come up.

When Malfoy didn't say anything and seemed to continue with sleeping, Harry finally lay back down but turned his back at Malfoy.

_God, how can I be hard in a situation like this, haven't I suffered enough already?_

The memories from the night before started to fill his mind slowly. It was all like a dream of some sort. It was weird to think how much had happened during what seemed like the last 24 hours, and to realise at the same time, that they were in a non-existing time.  
Here they were, in the cupboard and if they ever got out before killing each other, then they would be back in the same day when Harry had been in the Death Eater meeting.

_How extremely strange this all is_, he thought.

Then he said, "Malfoy. I need you to do me a favour."

Malfoy didn't move, he was silent for a moment before asking, "What kind of a favour?"

"Kiss me for ten minutes and when we get out, take me to St. Mungos and make sure they never let me out. I've lost my mind. Really, I mean it. I'm insane."

Malfoy hadn't managed to say anything before Harry suddenly carried on; the words were coming out fast like he couldn't stop them,  
"I thought I was going crazy already during September when I thought someone was following me. I thought I was going crazy when we were in the cupboard and I was hard. I thought I was going crazy when Ron told me he was gay. I thought I was going crazy when Luna announced she was going to Japan. I thought I was crazy when Neville started to write poems and Seamus went to Edinburgh and you looked like you had fallen in love with Dene and now… now I know I wasn't crazy at that time. Everyone else was crazy and I've only just now lost my mind!"

He was breathless when he finally shut up.

Malfoy sighed and asked, "Why do you think you've gone insane now?"

Harry clenched his jaw before another set of words came out like bullets from a machine gun,

"I must be crazy since I thought for a minute that… I could… do something to change things between you and me. It might've been because of the letter you wrote me, or because of all the letters you wrote me, or because of the fact you had gone through with all that trouble to save my life and then you did and… and… Merlin, I'm so lost. I feel so confused. About everything. Even my patronus has changed its form and I can't think of any reason why it would do something like that. Everything's… everything's so fucking weird. Nothing's normal anymore. Not a single thing. And on top of this all I'm trapped with you in a time that doesn't even really exist!"

Malfoy sighed again before muttering, "You should get some more sleep. I don't think you've gone insane. Much has been going on lately, I get that. Now just calm down and get some sleep. I think we both need it since it's difficult to know when you're really supposed to sleep in this cupboard when there's no time. If you don't sleep enough, then you'll feel like you are going crazy."

Harry absorbed this for a moment and then decided Malfoy must be right since the blond Slytherin had already spent weeks in the cupboard before. He must know these things far better than Harry did.

He closed his eyes and muttered, "Why do you care if I get insane or not?"

Malfoy seemed to be already falling asleep since his voice was slurred and quiet, "I don't want you to go all mental and kill me."

The sentence made Harry suddenly remember the whole _Sectumsempra_ day. It did have only one good effect; his hard-on died in one second.

Did Malfoy really think Harry might kill him?

He opened his eyes and said firmly, "I would never do that."

Malfoy didn't say anything and Harry wasn't sure if the boy was already sleeping.

He waited for a moment before noticing how tired he actually was. When he closed his eyes he fell asleep immediately and his dreams were filled with dragon patronuses.

When he woke up again he felt nice and warm. He stretched against the nice, warm, silky thing near him that smelled of Malfoy and felt so good underneath his fingers. He sat up fast like a lightning and said,

"I'm sorry! I don't know why my body keeps doing that…"

He looked at the blond, green silk covered Slytherin who stretched and muttered, "I know, you were asleep and didn't do it on purpose. It's fine."

Harry went quiet. He didn't know what he could possibly answer to that.

He was hard. Again.

Malfoy turned his head a little and looked at Harry, who was still looking at him. Malfoy had just been all relaxed and now Harry could see how the boy tensed and went rigid.

In return Harry went rigid as well, as if his body had developed some sort of a secret plan along with Malfoy's.

It seemed like adrenaline had suddenly started to run in Harry's body as his heartbeats seemed to grow faster the longer he kept staring in the grey eyes. The colour was visible although it was dim in the room, and he didn't have his glasses. Grey. The exact shade of grey, which made Harry all nervous and tense.

It was too quiet and intense, Harry tried to break it,

"What are we doing?" His voice betrayed him, it wasn't cold or hard at all. It was quiet and revealed his nervousness somewhat.

"I don't know. Are we doing something?" Malfoy asked. His voice was too tense too, revealing the same feelings Harry was currently going through.

"I don't know." Harry answered and swallowed painfully.

Malfoy took a deep breath, Harry watched as the green silk covered chest rose and went down. There it is again, that feeling. _I want to kiss him…_

"You're not mad at me I put you in ropes?" Malfoy asked his voice still low.

Harry shook his head a little, and then asked, "I don't know why you were mad at me before but… you're not mad at me anymore?" It carried a small hint of hope.

Malfoy made a small 'm-mm' sound, as if in 'no', then took another of those deep breaths.  
_I want him…_

"Why were you mad at me?" Harry asked.

Malfoy shrugged a little and said, "I overreacted to something."

"To what?" Harry asked without shifting his gaze from Malfoy's eyes.

"Nothing," the Slytherin answered calmly.

Harry didn't say anything so they were quiet and every time Malfoy took that deep breath, Harry clenched his jaw as the needy feeling brought his mouth full of saliva.  
_I need to kiss him… I want to unbutton his shirt, lick his chest, kiss him in the neck so hard he'll scream…_

"When we were in the cupboard… did you… did you think it was awful? The kissing, I mean. "

Harry asked, the nervousness made him hold his breath as he waited for the answer.

Malfoy shook his head slowly.

Harry forced himself to ask the next question, "Why don't you want to do it again then?"

Malfoy was quiet for a moment, almost like having a debate with himself, before answering, "Because of what happened after we got out."

Harry blinked. There it was again. The fact that Malfoy had gotten hard that night, after the whole cupboard incident.

Harry muttered, "You mean… "

Malfoy closed his eyes and tilted his head back a little, "Yes, I'm talking about the hard-on."

Harry had no idea what he was expected to say, "What's so bad about it? You said yourself 'where I'm coming from it's considered natural to get hard when you're snogging with someone'."

Malfoy frowned a little, not bothering to open his eyes, "Yes but I was wrong. It's not natural when it happens between you and me."

Harry fell silent and turned his head away. Why did that hurt?

He clenched his jaw but then asked, "You mean… because were both boys?"

"No! We're both gay so it should be natural, only it's not because it's you… and me."

The irritation that seemed to be in the voice at the beginning of the sentence vanished half-way through and left Malfoy's voice sound a bit hesitant.

Harry turned his head to look at the boy and asked, "How did you know I was gay?"

"Oh, please," Malfoy muttered and rolled his eyes, as if Harry had just asked the most obvious thing.

"Why should it matter if it's you and me? If we're both gay and… well, why not?"

Harry narrowed his eyes at the Slytherin, challenging him to say something that would make Harry want him less than he did right now.

Malfoy shrugged a little, staying out of the competition.

Argh! Irrational irritation and hurt suddenly filled Harry's mind. Why was Harry here in the first place, why did he have to give that stupid task? _Why? _Harry snapped,__

"Well if you think it's so awful to kiss me then I'm just going to stay here forever! I don't even have any clothes with me! And I'm hungry! Are you going to let me starve then?"

He wanted to stand up and march out of the room but couldn't because he was naked and he was not going to let Malfoy look at him naked! Not after this conversation.  
Although Malfoy probably already had… _fuck._

Why am I being so dramatic all of a sudden? Why can't I just let it be, this shouldn't matter. I should calm down and accept the fact I'm stuck in here… with him.

I can't really like him! Do I like him? Oh God, please no! What is this feeling?

"I know a good copying charm so I'll duplicate my clothes for you. You can also eat now. If you want, I'll build up the bedroom for you." Malfoy said with an even, rational voice.

_No I don't want that, I want to sleep with you… I want to sleep on top of you and rub myself against you both when I'm conscious and also when I'm not…  
_  
"Why did you start building me a bedroom in the first place?" Harry asked.

"In case something went wrong with my original plans and I needed to come up with a better one and needed your help with it. I was thinking of kidnapping you and keeping you here until you'd believe me, help me and so forth. It was better to have a lot of back-up plans."

Harry was silent or a moment, his sudden burst of irritation seemed to vanish just as quickly as it had appeared. Harry said,  
"Well, it seems I have kidnapped myself anyway. Could you duplicate me the clothes so I can go to breakfast?"

Malfoy didn't answer, just stood up and went to the cupboard and started duplicating. Harry watched his back for a moment. Harry had never been a fan of silk but sweet Merlin, it looked so very on good on Malfoy. The silk had seemed to glow with the warmth of Malfoy's skin when Harry had been stroking it as he had been waking up. It was no wonder his body had a will of its own while Harry was asleep. _Oh and Malfoy's ass right now, the way the silk seems to hug it…  
_

_What the hell am I thinking again_? Harry shook his head and decided to keep his gaze in his own fingers. Suddenly that very same green silk fabric landed on Harry's hands and a voice asked,

"You okay?"

Harry looked up at Malfoy, who was frowning.

Harry gulped and tried to speak but it seemed words were stuck in his throat: "Yeah… I… uhm…"

"What's wrong? Are you shaking?"

Harry shook his head,_ yes, I am shaking: _"No… I'm just… hot."

Malfoy frowned and Harry was certain he was blushing under that gaze, "Maybe you're running a fever. You should probably eat and then get some more rest. You also blacked out yesterday."

Harry managed to mutter, "Yeah."

Malfoy looked at him for another moment before he asked, "If I go and make some breakfast, you're not going to black out in the meanwhile?"

Harry shook his head, "Go. I'm fine."

Malfoy walked to the door but stayed on the threshold a while watching at Harry who kept staring back before the blond Slytherin finally disappeared, leaving Harry staring at the empty bedroom entrance feeling still nervous.

Harry didn't really understand how their communication worked, it seemed to jump from an emotion to another, well at least for him it did. It felt like his feelings had gone into overdrive without him being able to stop that. When had it started to do that? Had it been like this ever since the cupboard thing?

Maybe it's because I came, while he was on top of me. Maybe it's changed something in my head.  
Yes, it has to be that.

Does that mean my feelings have changed too?

"You coming?" Malfoy's voice broke his thoughts, he hadn't realised he had still been staring at the same spot, where Malfoy had been, and now the Slytherin was back there, standing and gazing at him again.

"Yeah," Harry said. He was still naked and the green silk clothes were resting on his arms where Malfoy had thrown them.

Malfoy frowned and stepped inside the bedroom. Harry stared at the blond in horror, _don't come near me, I'm hard, you're so not allowed to see that, stay away…_

The Slytherin clearly wasn't listening to Harry's thoughts since he took steps right until he was beside the bed and Harry before he put those cold, pale fingers on Harry's forehead. Harry reflexively twitched at the touch and his skin went into goose bumps.

"I was right, you're running a fever," Malfoy muttered and pulled his hand away.

"You should stay in bed. I'll bring you the breakfast here, okay?"  
Something in the sentence made Harry look up and meet Malfoy's eyes.  
Malfoy frowned again; Harry nodded and muttered,  
"Yeah, okay."

Malfoy left the room and Harry realised he was shivering. He started to put the green silk clothes on feeling hot and cold at the same time.  
Maybe I really am ill and that's why my thoughts are so weird and dizzy. That would explain a lot. Maybe I'm running a high fever and even hallucinating, who knows.

With that in mind Harry made a decision of staying in the bed for now.

Malfoy did bring him breakfast and ordered Harry to drink a lot of pumpkin juice. He sat on the edge of the bed but glanced at Harry quite often, almost like making sure Harry did eat and would not pass out or anything similar.

They were quiet until Harry asked, "How did he manage to poison Ron?"

Malfoy looked at him, frowned and said, "He was secretly brewing potions in one of my cupboards in the Slytherin dormitory. He stole the ingredients from the potions lab at night and after he'd brewed them he kept coming up with different ways to make students have a taste at them. He poisoned Weasley when they were kissing in the cupboard."

Harry blinked and asked, "How did he do that?"

Malfoy took a look at him, "He made the antidote, drank it already before we left the Slytherin dormitory and carried a vial of the poison in his pocket. Every time you enter the cupboard there comes this small moment of darkness before the first star light lit up. That moment was more than enough time for him to drink the poison and then when the light came on he kissed Weasley. In fact, he told me he had pushed Weasley on the floor on his back so more of the poison would go easily down Weasley's throat without him even noticing anything. He didn't notice anything; of course, he probably didn't even notice the taste of the poison because of the Firewhisky Dene had been drinking before they entered the cupboard."

Harry simply stared at Malfoy. Then he asked with a low voice, he wasn't angry, he just wanted to know, "How did you poison Hermione?"

Malfoy looked away before muttering, "I told one of the Hogwarts kitchen house-elves Granger and I were friends and she had a migraine but didn't want to take the medicine I had for her because of ethical reasons, but that I'm convinced she should take it nevertheless since the drug could possibly help her. The elf liked Granger, felt sorry for her so he stopped questioning me when I pleaded a little bit, added the poison in Granger's food and the next time the elf saw her she actually had a migraine so the elf thought he had tried to help her but the medicine hadn't worked. Simple. "

Harry looked at the blond boy's shoulders, which seemed tense. He was waiting for Harry to be angry. Harry wasn't, so he asked,

"Did you think it was absolutely necessary for your plans to have Hermione out of the way?"  
"Yes," Malfoy muttered and sighed.

Harry stared into emptiness for a moment before muttering,  
"Thanks for the breakfast, I think I should lie down now."

Malfoy didn't say anything but took the empty silver tray and quietly left the room.

Harry wrapped himself in the green silk blanket and thought about everything for a moment. Malfoy was being nice to him; he clearly had some guilt about having done certain things during the autumn.

The last thought Harry had before falling asleep was, _I don't care who he used to be or what he's done, I like him nevertheless.  
_


	3. Start counting, Malfoy

Chapter 3 – _**"Start counting, Malfoy."**_

Draco had been awake for what felt like an hour. His eyes were half lidded and he took a deep, content breath before closing his eyes yet again. He could've just as well been in a very nice dream, he felt so relaxed and good right now.

Everything was good. All of his plans had pretty much worked out perfectly. He had known they would but there was always room for self-doubt.

He was hard, had been since he woke up and it was alright too. He felt mostly relieved. He couldn't remember if he'd been hard even once during the sixth year in school. He wasn't sure if he had been hard even once during the war. He felt like he hadn't been and had thought there might be something seriously wrong with him.

Back in those days it was the constant stress that had been locking him up, creating blocks and walls inside him, making him stay inside his own thoughts and hide far away from people. He had lost all contact with his body because the stress had overridden everything. That time he was hungry and tired but couldn't really do anything about it since it felt like too much work even thinking about anything other than "I need to find a way, he'll kill me if I don't".

The stress had stopped everything in his life. It had created elaborate locks inside him which Draco couldn't open later on. He'd stayed locked inside his own head for a long time.

Now the stress was once again over and he felt better than he remembered feeling in years. He'd be happy to be hard for weeks if that was what his cock chose to do. He was so relieved.

Potter's fingers suddenly pressed Draco's skin a little more firmly on Draco's hip.  
Draco bit his lower lip a bit, thinking, _don't wake up now, keep sleeping…_

Luckily Potter didn't, and kept breathing evenly against Draco's neck.

Now, that was the reason why Draco had been hard since he had woken up. Potter had apparently already during the first night developed a habit of sleeping against Draco's back, and sometimes in his sleep wrapped arms, hands, legs and fingers somewhere on Draco's body.

At first Draco found it all hilarious, thinking how embarrassed Potter would be waking up, having had his hard-on firmly pushed against Draco's butt. Like he had been yesterday.

Hah!

It was still funny on some level but at the same time it wasn't fun at all. He knew he shouldn't be around Potter at all because Potter had this miraculous way of messing up Draco's rational thoughts.

Right at this moment Draco felt like he could stay right here forever. And that wasn't normal! Potter had somehow made him feel this way and it wasn't supposed to go like this. Draco didn't approve.

Everything about Potter made him react somehow, even the smallest little details, like Potter's fingers that were now on Draco's hip.  
Draco looked at the fingers and all he could think about was something so irrational he hated himself a little for thinking about it and not being able to stop.  
He wanted to grab Potter's hand, suck his fingers in a manner that left no guesses on what other places Draco wanted to suck.  
Better yet, he wanted to grab Potter's hand and wrap those fingers around his cock because he was so hard he'd probably cum at the very same moment Potter touched him.  
It wasn't fair Potter was such a cocktease – why was Potter touching him all the time while he was asleep.  
Occasionally he felt like shouting to Potter, "If you have to keep rubbing against me while you're unconscious then would you please carry it on until the end. Yes, that's right, Potter! I'm a boy and there's two places where you can stick your – "

That was nothing though. That was nothing compared to the bigger problem Potter had created.

The problem Potter had created for Draco was far too big to even analyse since it was so big Draco didn't know where the limits with it were. The problem affected everything.

Potter had done something totally unforgivable to Draco one night. Potter had looked adorable.

Yes, Draco had not used that specific word in such a long time he didn't know he still knew what it meant but that night there were absolutely no other words to describe what had happened.

First Potter had wrapped those fingers around the snitch and then given the small, content smile.

It was like a lightning had struck him. Draco's whole life had changed at that specific moment. He'd known it at once. Everything had changed. Draco could never ever get back to what he had felt for Potter before that exact moment.

Instead it felt like Potter had suddenly reached his fingers, pushed them through Draco's skin and wrapped them somewhere inside Draco, possibly right around Draco's innermost core.

Draco had been sitting there, beside the sleeping Gryffindor for at least an hour, just staring and feeling hurt by the fact Potter had the snitch in his fist, and not for example Draco's hand or any other Draco's body part which he gladly would've given if Potter had asked so.  
Draco would've gladly been transformed into that snitch and just stayed there.

When he finally had made himself leave the room, he had felt it all the way back to Slytherin dormitory. A piece of him was missing.  
Potter had that piece.  
Potter had stolen it without even knowing it and Draco would never feel the same again.  
He would always feel that empty hole and he would feel pain every time he saw Potter.

He had gotten evidence about how big the problem was when on Friday Potter had entered that damned cupboard with the White Devil.

Draco had never felt such jealousy before. He had wanted to stand up, shout and kill someone, first Dene and maybe even Potter because the pain inside Draco's chest was so unbearable. He still wondered how on earth he had managed to stay so calm. He hadn't used any unforgivables.

Potter had ruined Draco's life.

It was unbearable. That's why Draco wouldn't kiss Potter. He wouldn't take the risk of Potter stealing more from Draco. Who knew what might happen to Draco if Potter kissed him.

Even when Potter had been wrapping his arms around Draco in the kitchen, all Draco could think was; _I want to make a spell around us, one that will keep you attached to me forever so you can never walk around carrying a part of me with you and leaving me feel empty…_

When Potter had pulled away the pain was suddenly there again and then he'd become jealous all over again.

Yet right now when Potter was asleep, breathing peacefully on Draco's neck and occasionally touching Draco it felt alright, the pain seized.  
He wished he could hurt Potter by putting him under some sleeping draughts or whatever that would keep Potter right there but that was part of the problem too, he knew he was unarmed when it came to Potter – there was no way he could even think of hurting Potter.  
He'd felt horrible when he'd hit Potter with the binding spell. But it had been a spontaneous reaction to both the jealousy and the fear Potter might kiss him and steal another piece of him.

Besides Draco was quite often thinking about binding Potter – with the exception he wanted to bind Potter to himself.

It was a feeling of fear, what Draco felt when Potter was awake. Potter might break him into pieces.

Potter stirred in his sleep again and Draco felt the fear and disappointment stir inside him before realising Potter still didn't wake up. Oh, and the Gryffindor was hard. Nice.

When Potter had yesterday said something like 'why does it matter it's you and me' Draco wasn't really sure what Potter had been talking about. It sounded like Potter was talking about sex. Maybe he was.  
See, there would be no reason he couldn't have sex with Potter – except the one and only same reason why he couldn't even kiss him. Draco wouldn't take the risk of… etc.

Still it felt nice Potter was hard because of him. That made Draco sigh and smile.

Potter stirred again and Draco could hear how his breathing changed just before he pulled his hand away from Draco's hip and backed away from Draco a little bit. Draco closed his eyes and bit his lower lip in disappointment.

Potter was awake, and he would hear from Draco's breathing he was awake too. At least Potter didn't jump up or apologize like the last time.

"You're awake," Potter muttered.

"Mmm…" Draco confirmed.

"How long was I asleep?" Potter asked sounding confused.

"A long time but I should probably tell you something. It's easier if you don't think about time while we're in here. The non-time thing is one of the most complicated things in wizardry and some people who stay in cupboards like these end up in St. Mungo's once they get out."

"Why's that?" Potter asked, Draco could still feel Potter's breath faintly in his neck and knew the boy had stayed near; although had made sure none part of his body touched Draco's (which was a shame).

"Well… we get the feeling the time is going by and feel like we've spent days, possibly weeks or years in here and when we go out we realize we've forgotten what happened just before we left and we get confused when we talk to people as we can't recall what we discussed last time and… well… believe me, it's very confusing. I was quite shocked when I spent what felt like weeks in here and then returned to the same day from which I left. It's quite easy to forget the details. Then people just think you've gone nuts when you suddenly don't know the things they think you did that very same day. Try it, try to think of what you did for example exactly three weeks ago on Tuesday? What did you eat for dinner?"

Potter made a thinking sound and then muttered: "Uhm… I have no idea what I had for dinner that day. Actually I can't remember too much about that specific Tuesday but I can come up with something if I think about the other days of that week, trying to figure out what happened on which day… sort of…"

When Potter didn't say anything more, Draco said,  
"Yeah, I know. I was going to suggest you should write everything down about the Sunday when we came here.  
Every little detail you can remember, maybe even the couple of days before that. And in the meanwhile it's easiest if you don't think about anything relating to time.  
You eat when you're hungry, you sleep when you're tired and that's it. Don't think of this moment as a morning since it's not. I like to think everything like it's still Sunday, and this Sunday just happens to feel really long, and we just had a nap or something… that's the easiest thinking pattern for me, I think."

Potter sighed, "Okay. It's all extremely confusing."

"I know, that's why these cupboards are so rare. People more often go crazy and don't get any real advantage of them." Draco said.

They were silent for a moment before Potter asked, "Do you think I still have fever?"

Draco turned around. _Why did Potter have to look so cute without the glasses? Maybe Draco could hide them and not give them back at all…  
_  
The green eyes were staring at him as he put his hand on Potter's forehead.  
Then Draco muttered, "No, you don't. I actually checked twice already while you were sleeping."

Potter swallowed; damn it was too dark to see if he was blushing as well, "You did?"

"Yeah, I have potions for that. I had to check if it gets worse and I should get you one…" Draco replied.

Potter's eyes looked green even in his semi-darkness which Draco actually liked. It sort of softened everything with Potter.  
Everything felt a little less real and more acceptable when the light was dim.  
Draco also happened to like green a lot.

"I hate saying this but I'm hungry," Potter muttered.

"Yeah? You should go and eat then," Draco answered.

"You should eat too," Potter said, the green eyes suddenly seemed more intense, he was staring right into Draco's eyes and biting his lower lip; then his eyes moved into Draco's lips and then back into the waiting grey eyes.  
_Oh no, he's thinking about kissing me, please no, don't you dare to do this to me!  
_  
"Your spine stands out, you know," Potter muttered.  
Draco's heartbeats were quickening, his breathing became more rapid,

"Have you been touching me while I've been asleep?" Draco's voice sounded unnaturally quiet, almost like a whisper. _Don't do this to me, please just don't, I want you._

"Accidentally, yeah," Potter's voice was low.

Draco's breathing became erratic as he constantly either forgot to take a breath or forgot to breathe it out. _Please just tie me up and fuck me._

Potter reached out his hand and touched Draco's neck, wrapped fingers slowly on Draco's hair and pulled him a little closer. Draco closed his eyes and tried hard to ignore the urge to give in and kiss Potter.  
_No, no, no, no, you cannot do this to me, you'll tear me apart, I will not become your little plaything, I will not accept this, please don't…  
_  
Potter reached out his other hand too and stroke Draco's chin and cheek _and I can't fight back, I give in…_

Potter pulled Draco's head closer until finally he could close the distance with his lips.

It felt better than he remembered, Potter was being exceptionally gentle, not pushy and not trying to smother Draco at all.  
_  
I like this too much, I have to stop this, otherwise I'll fall apart, I know I will._

He placed his hand on Potter's chest and tried to push the boy away gently but Potter's fingers in his hair tightened their grip and Draco released a small moan before pulling back and ripping his lips away from Potters,

"Please. Don't," He managed to breathe out, he was breathless.

Potter dropped his hands down and Draco suffered at the loss but forced himself to look Potter in the eyes and say, "I can't, I just can't. Just don't."

There was vulnerability, hurt at the rejection, embarrassment and maybe hint of anger too in the green eyes. Those feelings were a bit too much for Draco to see and he managed to pull himself away and then get up and leave the room.

He was a coward. He was running away, not just from Potter's feelings but from his own too, and form the whole situation.

He hid in the kitchen and started cooking using cooking spells and keeping himself so focused on it as he could, trying to distract himself from thinking. He leaned on the counter for support and sighed.

_It hurts, he hurts me, why does he have to do that, why do I have to hurt this bad because of him, it's not fair._

He set up the plates and glasses for two although he was certain Potter would be too angry to eat together with him.

He sighed, sat down and crossed his arms on the table before letting his head drop against them.

I should let him leave; I should kiss him for ten minutes, grant him his freedom and stay here for the rest of my life.  
I don't want to go back to real world ever. Especially not after this.  
I would have to see him every day from distance and maybe he'd find someone.  
What if Potter started going out with someone? No, that would be too unbearable.  
He wanted to have Potter. He wanted to have power over him, wanted to tie him down and decide everything for him.  
Right now he sort of did. He had Potter here; and he had the Cupboard under his commands.  
Potter was in his world, in his prison he had made for Potter.  
Potter was even wearing his clothes.  
If he only could hurt Potter, then he would… he would… he would poison him, keep him ill, make him dependent on Draco.  
But he couldn't.

Potter would destroy him.

Potter would tear him into small pieces soon.

He was so exhausted. Potter was probably furious at him, and that felt awful too.

He felt like crying all of a sudden but wouldn't.

He stood up and went to look for Potter. He cautiously peeked into the bedroom as if he was spying on the Gryffindor. Potter was sitting by the desk writing something furiously.

He stood there for a moment before forcing himself to step out behind the wall and said,

"I'm… "

Potter stopped writing but didn't turn to look at Draco.  
He was angry; Draco could tell it from the tense pose, the way Potter's shoulders were rigid.

Draco swallowed; _he'll kill me_, "I'm sorry. I… there's food in the kitchen."

Potter didn't move an inch but he suddenly said, "You're sorry? How about you give me an explanation instead?"

_What? No! I don't have an explanation! I can't tell you, you have a part of me and you'll destroy me if I so much as touch you!  
_  
"I'm sorry. I am. I can't give you an explanation." Draco said, he felt drained with the constant fighting with himself. All he really wanted to do was to be near the Gryffindor and he couldn't so what else could he do but to try to fight back the emotions, they would go away eventually, they would have to.

Potter stood up and turned to Draco, his eyes were bright behind the glasses. _Merlin, he's angry, I knew he would kill me…  
_  
"What the hell is this, Malfoy? What are you playing at? One minute I'm certain you want me and the next I'm embarrassed because I even thought so! Spit it out, what is this?"

Potter's voice was loud and angry, his fists were clenched.

Draco felt like running away and tried to, turning to leave he muttered, "I'm sorry, I can't…"

Before Draco had taken more than two steps towards the kitchen, Potter caught him and grabbed his arm painfully hard, "Ow, get off me!" He shouted out of instinct.

"Is it because of him?" Potter shouted over his voice.

"What?" Draco was confused and frowned.  
Potter's jaw was clenched and his green eyes were flaming,  
"Is it him? Do you love him?"

"What are you talking about?" Was Potter talking about Dene?

"I saw the way you looked at us when we came out of the cupboard on Friday! You were jealous! Weren't you? I know you were so don't deny it!" Potter was shaking with rage, it was quite scary.

"I don't love him!" Draco shouted, he was not going to listen to this crap, and he would not tell Potter he'd been jealous of him and not of anyone else.

"I saw your face, Malfoy! I've never seen you like that! That wasn't just pretending, was it? You have feelings for him!" Potter was glaring at him; the green eyes were trying to drill a hole through Draco's eyes.  
_He would not (!) tell Potter who he was jealous of, no,_ and that thought made him sneer,

"Why? Are you jealous of him yourself?"

All of a sudden Potter launched himself on Draco, making them both fall down on the floor.  
Before he even knew it, Potter had managed to pin his both hands on top of his head and Potter's knees were painfully pressing his thighs against the floor.

Then Potter growled in anger, "I'm out of here! Start counting, Malfoy!"

Potter pressed his lips on Draco's, who released a whimper of surprise and panic.

_No, don't do this to me, no._ Potter's lips were too soft and warm.  
Potter was too rough, his fingers had pressed deep in Draco's skin in his wrists and he moaned because he was helpless.  
Potter was desperate to get out of the cupboard; he felt the desperation in the smothering way Potter kissed him.  
_I know I'm being selfish; I should let you go if that's what you want_.

_I know I shouldn't try to control you so go ahead, do what you want to, leave me, and break me._

He relaxed and took a deep breath though his nose, he barely answered to the kiss, waiting for Potter to calm down, which the boy did.  
Now it wasn't smothering anymore, now it was better and calmer.  
Draco released a small, defeated moan. It clearly said enough because Potter made the kiss gentler.  
Draco moved his hands a bit and Potter relented, letting Draco pull his hands free.

_If you're going to leave me then I swear on Merlin's name I'll make this the best kiss you've ever had and you'll never be able to kiss anyone without thinking about me._

Draco sucked Potter's tongue, gently, then a little harder and moaned.  
He tried to move his legs a little and Potter relented with that too, suddenly he moved enough to get between Draco's thighs which he in return spread, thinking, _Yes, come to me._

Draco wrapped his arms gently around Potter, waiting for the Gryffindor to fight back but he didn't so Draco put his finger's on Potter's hair. He stroked Potter's neck and eventually had the courage to let his fingers touch Potter's forehead before he tried to get the glasses off.

It wasn't too easy; he managed to get his own knuckle in his eye before finally got the glasses off and threw them carelessly somewhere far away_.  
I hope he doesn't find them, I'll hide them, I won't let him go…  
_  
He gave himself a permission to wrap his legs around Potter since this would surely be the last time ever so it didn't matter. Potter would break him and Draco would let him do that.

_Ah! Potter was hard! Yes, yes, yes! I know I'm too but it's nice that you are.  
_  
He moaned in pleasure and knew his lips were turning into a smile even if Potter's lips were currently kissing them, trying not to let Draco smile.  
Draco let his hands roam around Potter's chest and back before they ended up on Potter's ass. He thrust against Potter, slowly, giving himself permission to feel the emotions which were building up inside him.  
Potter put his other arm under and around Draco's neck, both to keep him in place and to get enough support to hold himself in a good position.

Potter moaned.  
_Yes, now I know, I'll make you come so hard you can't even remember who you are if you think of leaving me…  
_  
He pushed his hand between them and inside Potter's (his own) green, silk pants and found Potter's leaking cock. _No need to take his pants of, the fabric is ruined already._

Potter moaned again but suddenly grabbed Draco's hand; pulled it away before stuffing his own hand in Draco's pants and wrapping his fingers around Draco's cock.  
Draco moaned louder than Potter.  
_It feels too good; I'll come in seconds if you don't stop that…  
_  
Draco's breathing went rapid and he sucked Potter's tongue. He let Potter rub him, _I like that, I like that a lot_, and he moaned again, stroking Potter's ass gently.  
The fabric did feel nice; it allowed Draco to feel everything underneath it. That turned him on more than he wished for. Potter's touch felt so good, it forced Draco to give in completely.

Draco's thoughts were hazy, he knew his brain always shut down and went into a hazy mode whenever he was coming - and before that, and also after.

Irrational little thoughts like _fuck me, fuck me_ spinning around and letting him float in the feelings, far away from anything resembling reality.  
His heartbeats were so loud they were drumming inside his ears and he could barely hear his own moans as he made the decision of letting himself go and enjoy it.  
_Do it to me, I'm yours, I'm all yours forever and forever…_

It felt so good, he felt the orgasm build up inside him, growing bigger and bigger. He knew it would be extraordinary powerful and feared he might pass out when it'd finally hit him.  
He was moaning like he couldn't stop, his fingers were clutching Potter's arse.  
_I can't let you go…_

He did it, he turned his head so violently the kiss broke at the exact same time he was arching and holding his breath as the orgasm hit him with such force he saw stars falling, spinning behind his closed eyelids.  
His face was pretty much buried now in Potter's arm which was still around Draco's neck, he was panting, inhaling Potter's scent with every breath.  
_I'm so yours._

He was shaking and he didn't let go of Potter's ass, only let his other arm drop to the floor as he was breathless and exhausted.

The hazy afterglow thoughts were filling his mind immediately. They made him want to say stupid things he knew would make sense only to himself right now and which bore no contact with reality. He had to bite his lower lip to keep his mouth shut.

All he wanted to do was to tell Potter _he needed him, wanted him, wanted to fuck him, wanted to be fucked by him and all that… he wanted to cum inside him and…  
_  
"What are you thinking?" Potter asked sounding breathless. Draco forced himself to turn his head a little and open his eyes just enough to see Potter's green ones near him,

"Hazy afterglow thoughts," he muttered, still breathless.

"Hazy? I feel hazy too…" Potter said, his voice did sound hazy and soft, a voice which told Draco the boy had just had sex, _I like that, I really don't want this to stop, I honestly don't…_

Draco didn't say anything, but watched Potter's eyes, which looked better now than ever before.  
_I feel so warm and good, I hope we didn't get to ten minutes; I counted on the fact we didn't.  
_  
"Want to share any of them?" Potter asked and his lips formed a little smile, almost the same one Draco had seen that one night when Potter had the snitch. Draco liked that smile.

His voice was so gentle too, just like the smile – so gentle it almost hurt, and made Draco remember for a short moment the fact that Potter might leave the cupboard and that would definitely break Draco into pieces. He would miss that smile always. _I love you._

"I could but they don't make any sense to you, they're… you know… crazy afterglow thoughts you'd never think about in any other situation… ever."  
He felt still exhausted, and so warm he might fall asleep right here, watching Potter's green eyes.

"It doesn't matter if they don't make sense, I'd like to hear one," Potter coaxed him.

Draco thought about it, his mouth felt like talking, he felt like telling Potter everything he was thinking of and it was getting too tiresome to be constantly fighting back with something, especially now when Potter was so gentle, warm and close.

"Will you promise you won't laugh?" Draco asked.

"Of course." Potter smiled.

"And then you're going to tell me all of your hazy thoughts after I've sucked you off?"  
Draco smiled with a twinkle in his eyes, he enjoyed the sight of Potter's face as the Gryffindor's smile froze and Potter's arm under Draco's neck became tense.

"Uhm…" Potter hesitated, but Draco knew what he wanted so it didn't matter if Potter hesitated, "Say yes, Potter," he pressed his lips on Potter's neck, sucked the skin and Potter's fingers were in Draco's hair, clutching them,  
"Yeah, tell me your thought first," Potter muttered, his voice sounded… hazy.

Draco talked right into Potter's ear, letting his voice drop as low and seductive as he could, while stroking Potter's neck,  
"I was thinking I want you to fuck me and come inside me so many times my body fills up with it, your seed gets into my blood stream and goes all the way up to my brain so all I see is white and the saliva in my mouth tastes like you."

He looked at Potter's expression which was a bit shocked but also soft, hazy with lust. Potter was too dumbfounded to say anything, Draco pushed Potter's chest gently and the boy lay down on the floor. Draco climbed on top of him and started to open the buttons of Potter's (his) green silk shirt to get his lips on the skin, finally getting to lick and suck it.  
Yes, he liked the way Potter's skin felt on his tongue. There really wasn't anything he didn't like about Potter's body.

Potter's fingers felt good in his hair and neck. Draco pulled Potter's pants away completely and smiled a little at the notion he still had his clothes on and Potter was naked. He felt even more powerful now.  
He smiled at Potter mischievously, thinking _and now I get to make him cum so hard he doesn't know where or who he is, yes. _

He kissed Potter's stomach and licked a trail further down before he finally got to his cock. _I know I'm naturally good at this, I know I am_… Draco thought and took the head of the cock in his mouth and sucked it. Potter's fingers were clutching his hair more tightly, _yes, he likes this._  
Potter moaned as Draco sucked more and more.  
_Merlin, I could swallow you,_ Draco thought and tried exactly that, he moaned as Potter gently tried to push himself down Draco's throat.  
That made Draco even more aroused. He let Potter do that because the boy liked it, although it was a bit painful since it was hard to breath, try not to gag and fight back the tears that were forming in his eyes as he fought back with the gagging.  
Potter moaned and muttered something incomprehensible nonsense.

_Yeah, I know you love this, _Draco thought and again tried to swallow Potter deeper and deeper and he felt like Potter was fucking his mouth_. Let him do that, _he thought, and sucked more firmly, wanting to rip the orgasm from the boy with force.

He was surprised how little time it took before Potter was furiously writhing and clutching Draco's hair so hard it almost hurt while he was pushing his cock down Draco's throat.  
Draco could feel it, feel it in the movements and Potter's breathing, it was like Potter's body told him he was coming already before Potter said it aloud and moaned loudly.  
Draco swallowed it, although he had to force himself to do it, it wasn't a piece of cake but he would get used to that if he ever got more practice.

This time he had wanted to swallow only because of one reason.  
And it was because he wanted something from Potter inside him too, because Potter had a part of him. It was ridiculous he told himself, he was childish thinking about something like that but what could he do – he wanted Potter!  
He wanted to rip Potter into pieces and keep some of the parts to himself so Potter would hurt without him too.

He kept licking and sucking Potter's spent cock, he really didn't want to stop everything now.  
"Draco," Potter called him softly and Draco lifted his face up, licking the cum on his lips,  
"Mmm?"  
Potter looked a little worried, there was a small frown on his forehead which Draco wasn't sure was because of pleasure or worry.  
Potter stroked his neck gently, Potter's gingers felt so soft and warm and Draco closed his eyes for a moment, when Potter spoke,  
"Did Dene ever call you a dragon?"

Draco opened his eyes and looked in the green ones, "He might've. Why?"

"Do other people call you Dragon too?" Potter frowned some more.

Draco shrugged a little, "Sometimes, yeah, especially if I'm angry. Zabini once made a spell on me so for one week every time I was furious there was smoke coming out of my nose, it wasn't funny. Why do you ask?"

Draco wasn't sure but he couldn't remember Potter ever calling him Draco before, not like that at least. It felt good but now he was a bit worried because Potter looked worried.

"Come here," Potter muttered and Draco did climb up the Gryffindor body until he reached his face and looked into the green eyes, "What's wrong?"  
Potter took a deep breath.  
_He's going to leave, I know he will, why would he otherwise look so worried and... hurt…_

"Draco, my patronus had turned into a dragon," Potter said and he almost looked like he could start crying.  
Draco relaxed on top the boy and put his fingers on Potter's warm, soft neck,  
"Why would one's patronus change its form?" Draco asked and watched his fingers on Potter's skin; he drew small patterns with his index finger.

"It sometimes does when someone's in love…" Potter said and Draco's finger stopped drawing the pattern. Draco held his breath before looking into Potter's eyes and asking,

"What?" His voice betrayed him, he sounded panicked.

"I think that… I've fallen in love with you," Potter said and then clenched his jaw, his chest heaved under Draco as he took a deep breath. Yes, Potter was surely fighting back from crying.

Draco put his index finger on Potter's forehead and ran it on the lightning scar, up and down and muttered,  
"That's your after orgasm hazy thoughts, don't worry, the feeling will go away."

Potter shook his head and Draco had to pull his fingers away from the forehead,  
"No, Draco. I was wondering earlier what my feelings were but I know for a certain fact now. I love you."

Draco looked at Potter's neck, he was too afraid to look Potter in the eyes.  
"What does that mean exactly?" He asked.

When Draco looked at Potter's face again, Potter had closed his eyes and was breathing quietly, he said, "I don't know, I've never been in love like this."

Draco sighed and asked, "Yes, but how does it make you feel?"

Potter took another deep breath before answering, "Vulnerable, naked… maybe scared."

Draco lifted his eyebrows a little, "Scared? What are you scared of?"

Potter swallowed and clenched his jaw before saying,  
"Uhm… a lot of things, I think. That… now that I told you, you might use it against me. You might hurt me on purpose. Maybe you might even break my heart because you have the chance to do that. I'm afraid because I have no idea what you think of all this and I have no idea what's been going on between us. And uhm… I'm afraid that you don't like me, and you don't want to be with me. I think that I'd go crazy if you were with someone else. I want to be with you and that's not going to change, even if you don't want to be with me."

Draco was holding his breath. There was something in Potter's words and tone which made Draco feel vulnerable, naked and scared too. I almost sounded like… no, it couldn't be… it almost sounded like Potter was feeling something similar what Draco felt. It was scary.

Draco wanted to tell Potter he would never hurt him but he couldn't speak. Instead he felt like kissing Potter so he did. He stroked Potter's cheek and kissed him very gently. He licked his lips and pressed his tongue in Potter's mouth.

He broke the kiss just enough to murmur into Potter's lips, "Does that mean you might fuck me sometime?"

Potter smiled a little, "Definitely, if that's what you want."

Draco kissed him again before murmuring, "I'd like that a lot."

After another kiss he asked, "Does that mean I can get a part of you and get to keep it?"

Potter's fingers seemed to be all over Draco's face and neck, "You already do."

"Yeah? Which part is that?" Draco muttered and kissed him again.

"My heart, of course," Potter whispered.

Draco smiled into Potter's lips, kissed him and said, "I'll accept that."

Potter muttered something which sounded like 'fuck me'.  
Draco moaned and admitted it to himself; he was in love with Harry Potter.


	4. Because Love Equals Pain

Zinnia says: what was I thinking when I wrote this chapter?

Chapter 4 – _**Because Love Equals Pain**_

It felt like a couple of days later, but it was difficult to say since time didn't exist. They were eating what they would've normally called breakfast - perhaps 'after nap snack' would've been the most accurate name for it, Harry thought.

"We should do the ten minutes already." Harry muttered, knowing the following conversation would possibly end up in fighting.

"Yes, I know." Draco said calmly and poured himself some more tea.

"Can we do that? Like… today perhaps?" Harry asked and pinched a piece of toast between his fingers until it crumbled.

Draco sounded tense again as he put down his tea mug, "I already told you…"

"I know, I know. You don't want to go back to reality."  
Harry sighed and leaned further back in his chair, then let his head drop backwards until he was gazing at the wooden ceiling.

"What if they caught my mother? Have you thought about it? What if they didn't catch Dene and the rest of them and they'll come after us the minute we step outside the cupboard?"

Harry shifted his gaze from the ceiling to the blond, worried looking boy in front of him,

"Everything's going to work out somehow, no matter what the situation is when we go out. Honestly, we can't stay here forever."

Draco narrowed his eyes and then stared at the plate in front of him; Harry could tell he had lost his appetite for now.

When Draco stood up calmly, Harry grabbed his hand and said, "Don't go now, please. I'm tired of trying to bring this up all the time. Let me just… let's just do it."

Draco slowly pulled his hand free and said with a low voice, "No."

The Slytherin walked out of the room. Harry kicked the leg of the table in irritation, crossed his arms across his chest, and closed his eyes taking a deep breath.

Later on Harry had been reading for what felt like hours. He was still a bit pissed off at Malfoy because he really wanted to get out of the Cupboard and live the reality.  
Although he enjoyed spending time with Malfoy when they weren't arguing, he was starting to miss basic things like the rain on his skin and the rough caress of the Scottish breeze.  
Most of all he missed talking with people whom he didn't have to concentrate on not arguing with.

He put the book down; he couldn't concentrate on reading when all he thought about was getting out.  
Right after thinking this he realised Malfoy was standing by the door watching him. Harry looked at him and tried to analyse the Slytherin's expression but couldn't read it so he simply stared right back, waiting for Malfoy to say something.

"You could read in the kitchen so you wouldn't have to sit on the floor." Malfoy muttered.

"I know but I like being here." Harry answered, and was glad they didn't start arguing right away.

Malfoy walked to him, looked at the floor, scrunched his nose to express his distaste but sat down anyway and faced Harry. They looked at each other for a moment before Malfoy reached his hand and placed his fingers on Harry's neck.  
Immediately Harry felt like kissing him and wrapping him into an embrace but waited for the boy to speak since he was clearly hesitating to do so.

Malfoy didn't speak though. He leaned in and kissed Harry very gently. Harry knew it would be another of those soft kisses they'd had; it was Malfoy's way of telling this was not going to last for ten minutes so Harry wouldn't even have to hope for it.

Harry knew it, Malfoy was scared that Harry would leave immediately if they kissed for ten minutes. It didn't help Harry had one time kissed Malfoy really roughly and Malfoy had thought it was just because Harry wanted to get the task done – which wasn't the case.

Harry pulled away from the kiss, just enough to say,  
"You know, you should learn to trust me. I said I'm not going to leave afterwards. I'll only leave when you leave with me. You should know that."

Malfoy didn't say anything. He kissed Harry again and Harry went with it, let Malfoy do whatever he pleased and echoed the movements of his lips.  
Harry really liked Malfoy's lips.  
They were beautiful, the shape and all, and they felt good, soft and familiar.  
At times Harry thought he was lucky to kiss those lips, and he felt like they were made to do this. He couldn't believe they hadn't done this for years.  
Kissing Malfoy had suddenly started to feel so familiar he couldn't even think about not kissing him again and again.

Malfoy pulled away a little and asked, "Would you like to kiss me for ten minutes and then go to bed?"  
The question made Harry smile although he could tell even without opening his eyes that Malfoy was looking grave. Malfoy seemed to often change his mind about things without any apparent reason. Harry muttered eyes closed,

"How about we go to bed, kiss for ten minutes and stay in bed after that?"

Malfoy answered by giving another soft kiss and let Harry pull him up on his feet. As they walked slowly towards the bedroom, Harry wrapped his arm around Malfoy's waist.  
Everything with Malfoy seemed to feel all new and exciting, and underneath was the familiarity – like he'd always known what Malfoy's body was like.

Like right now, Harry placed his hand underneath Malfoy's shirt, and on the small of his back. The skin felt just as familiar as all the little curves of the boy's body.  
Even the bones underneath the skin felt familiar although Harry had this weird feeling of knowing there once had been more softness instead of the hardness of the bones.  
He thought it was probably easier to fall in love with someone who felt familiar.

It was amazing, all of it, Malfoy was amazing.  
Everything about him was so intoxicating Harry felt almost euphoric.  
It could be some small movement Malfoy made; one word, or one sound he made in the back of his throat, when Harry was kissing his inner thigh, and that one small thing could suddenly send Harry's mind into full haziness.  
When that hazy feeling came, all Harry could think was Malfoy was the most amazing person he'd ever known and he'd be lucky if he got to be with him.

With thinking about just that and having reached the bedroom, Harry turned to Malfoy and kissed his neck gently. It always made Malfoy either hiss or moan. This time he hissed and Harry kissed his neck a bit harder, sucking the skin before releasing it and whispering,

"I want to be on top"

No, they still hadn't fucked and it was okay.

It had been a mutual agreement on not jumping into everything head first but to take it easy because the whole autumn had been so chaotic.  
Harry had actually suggested they go back to reality and after the real life has gotten normal; then they could have sex – a lot of it in fact.  
It would be like a new beginning; first cleaning up the old mess and then beginning a new one. That's what he thought the relationship with Malfoy was going to be like; it would be a mess, probably even chaotic at times.  
It didn't matter at all.  
He didn't even care if they'd end up fighting all the time, it really didn't matter.  
He would want to be with Malfoy, whatever happened, whether it would work between them or not. There was nothing in the world that could change his feelings to Malfoy. Nothing.

"Harry, I need to tell you something." Malfoy whispered.

Harry tensed; they called each other by given name fairly rarely, mostly just before or just after an orgasm. It almost felt like 'orgasm' was a synonym to the name Draco. He liked it that way.

"Go ahead." Harry whispered and kissed Malfoy's neck again.

"You're probably going to hate me after I've told you. Also you probably say I should've told you before but I didn't want to. I still don't. But I think you have the right to know."

Harry frowned but didn't move an inch; his lips were still touching Malfoy's neck softly. He whispered, "What is it?"

Malfoy was really tense underneath Harry's hands which had both somehow ended up somewhere underneath Malfoy's shirt, against the warm, soft skin which Harry felt like kissing even as he knew something horrible was coming out of Malfoy's mouth any minute now.

"It's something extremely disgusting," Malfoy whispered.  
Harry didn't say anything, simply waited for the Slytherin to get on with the matter. He did go on after a moment's hesitation,

"When I saw you sleeping, the night I placed the snitch on your hand, something changed. I mean… my feelings for you changed a lot that night. And uhm… he noticed the change in me although I tried my best to hide it. He had never used his veela powers on me before but he started to use them that following week. I realised he had no idea I could actually block it quite well because we're related and it allows me to decide whether I want to give in or block it. It's not easy; it was quite a strong forcing feeling as he used it. So I had to play along."

Malfoy pulled away enough to look at Harry and Harry reluctantly opened his eyes to see Malfoy clench his jaw.

"Go on." Harry encouraged, suddenly having a fear for all that could've happened without him knowing.

"So uhm… I had to play along so he wouldn't notice I could resist his powers and so he wouldn't suspect I was on your side. I assumed he actually started to suspect it, why else he'd suddenly started to use the powers at that point? Anyway, I played along. I acted like I adored him just like everyone else did. Then one night he wanted me to… he wanted some things to happen, which I really didn't want to. I don't know if something had happened that day, which had made his suspicions even stronger than before because he'd never tried to force me into anything like that before and - "

Harry cut his sentence, "Did you sleep with him?"

This did make sense. Harry had seen them in the same bed on the Marauder's map. He'd known it. He'd known they were having sex. That was fucking disgusting.

"No, I didn't fuck him if that's what you're asking." Malfoy said.

"Did he fuck you?" Harry asked, he felt cold and angry although he should've known this.  
He had known this, how could he have forgotten all about it? His mind was reeling with self-hatred.

"No," Malfoy said, then added, "Something else though."

He was clearly waiting for Harry to throw up, punch him or something because he looked like he wanted to run away.

"Just say it! Did you suck him off?" Harry asked and it came out with such force he hadn't realised how angry he really was.

"I jerked him off and no, I didn't let him touch me at all. He tried to make me have sex with him and I told him I would after we'd killed you. But I never would have done even that one thing if I'd known how we'd end up. If I knew things would change between you and me, I never would've done anything with him. I swear to you."

All Harry could say was, "You're right, that's fucking disgusting."

Malfoy clenched his jaw again and muttered, "Yes, it is."

Harry swallowed; there was big lump in his throat. He felt like shouting and punching the hell out of Malfoy but he refrained from doing so. He didn't say anything.  
He was disappointed in himself for not remembering the possibility of something like this.  
He was disappointed Malfoy hadn't told him sooner. He was disappointed in himself because he had just been thinking there was nothing that could ever change his feelings towards Malfoy and now he wasn't so sure about it anymore.

Am I overreacting? He asked himself and didn't know what the answer was.  
Of course Malfoy had been forced to do it, he hadn't wanted any of it so was it Malfoy's fault at all?  
Probably not but It didn't change what had happened though.  
It didn't change the fact Harry felt jealous, betrayed, hurt and angry.

Harry was too angry to answer anything. He couldn't even leave the fucking cupboard although he really felt like leaving right now.

What had Harry expected? Had Harry really imagined Malfoy had and always would be just his?  
He wasn't an object Harry could own.

He felt like Malfoy was his anyway. Just like he felt he belonged to Malfoy and to no-one else.

God, he as angry, he wanted to use more than one unforgivable curses on Dene. He probably would if he ever saw him again.

"Give me my ten minutes." He said to Malfoy in a quiet voice, the lump in his throat made any talking almost impossible.

Malfoy didn't say anything, just looked like he was about to start crying and Harry felt like his heart was exploding into pieces.

Malfoy took Harry's face between his hands and kissed him, gently. Harry didn't kiss him back, instead took a deep breath through his nose and realised he was shivering.

He was cold, so cold he could freeze right on the spot unless his blood was boiling with anger at the same time.

Draco pulled back just a little and whispered, "I'm sorry."

"Just give me the ten minutes!" Harry growled and clenched his fists, he realised only now his hands were still underneath Draco's shirt and he pulled them away.

It was even colder now; surely he would freeze to death soon.  
Malfoy kissed him, more firmly now. Harry didn't kiss him back, just wished for the next ten minutes to come and go.

He tried to tell himself his body would have to get used to the coldness and not to crave Malfoy's warmth because right now he really would need to get away from him before he ended up hurting him. He didn't know if he could do it but he thought he might.

He had never been this jealous before, never. He had never expected it could feel like this.  
Like Draco had just stabbed him right through his heart and suddenly images of Dene were all over his head. _That devil_, he thought, _I'll kill him, I swear I'll kill him and I'll laugh when I say avada -_

Malfoy had pulled away again and said, "I love you."

Harry felt like he couldn't breathe. He tried to take a deep breath but he was shaking and Malfoy was brushing his cheeks with his soft, warm thumbs and saying, "Shh, it's okay, I know."

Malfoy took his glasses off and brushed Harry's closed, wet eyes with his thumbs and muttered the same words again and Harry just gasped after breath like his body seemed to be shutting down and refusing to take any orders.

Malfoy kissed him firmly but Harry didn't answer to it. He just hoped the ten minutes would go already and he could leave. He needed to get out. He needed to see Ron and Hermione and tell them everything.

How could it feel this bad? He felt like it didn't matter they hadn't been together when Draco had… done what he'd done. He felt like it could've been so much worse but it didn't matter.

What mattered was that Draco had been with someone else than Harry.  
Why did it have to hurt so much?

He wanted to kiss Malfoy back. He wanted to be with him so bad but he couldn't.

Malfoy pulled away, Harry wanted to shout something about why couldn't he just let him go, he wanted out.

"I know how it feels like, I felt like that when you kissed him. Even if it was some stupid task, it hurt nevertheless. And I thought you loved him. I know how bad it feels. Harry, I love you, don't leave me."

Harry opened his eyes and looked in the grey ones, which were filled with tears, and that made Harry's bleeding heart hurt even more.

Harry should forgive him, he should accept what had happened; he knew he should.  
Harry had kissed someone else too and Malfoy had forgiven him that already.

Harry pressed his hands on Malfoy's chest and took a step closer, pushing the boy backwards until he let himself to be pushed on the bed. Harry crawled on top of him and kissed him firmly.

So they kissed a long time, smothering each other. All Harry could think about was whether he should leave after the kiss or not. Harry wrapped his arms and legs around Malfoy so he could flip them over. He needed to feel Malfoy's body weight.  
If Harry chose to leave after the kiss then he would have to absorb Malfoy's warmth as much as he could right now. If they were never to do this again after this, Harry should try to absorb everything as much as he could.

Malfoy's tears were dropping on Harry's cheeks, mixing into his own and running down along his skin and onto the green silk blanket under him.  
Malfoy's body was warm and pressing onto his, so familiar now, like their bodies were thinking about melting and becoming one. He wanted that to happen. He wanted to melt into Draco and stop being a separate person.

Harry sucked Malfoy's tongue and wanted more, it wasn't enough, so he placed his hands on Malfoy's chest and started to unbutton his shirt. He touched the warm, soft skin, it felt familiar and good under his fingertips and he couldn't get enough of it.  
He unbuttoned his own shirt and wrapped his arms around the boy, pulled him so close he could get all the warmth he needed. It was better now.

Malfoy relaxed his arms he'd had on both sides of Harry's head supporting some of his weight and let Harry get his whole body weight now.  
That was so much better; Harry thought and ran his tongue against Malfoy's.

It wasn't enough though, ne needed to get closer, there was too much clothing and skin between them, they hadn't melted into being one.

He broke the kiss; they would have to start the ten minutes all over again; it didn't matter right now.

"Fuck me." He whispered to Malfoy and opened his eyes to see the Slytherin's expression. Malfoy opened his eyes, they looked hazy grey, a bit red on the edges and Harry thought they were the most beautiful eyes he'd even seen.

"Now?" Malfoy whispered, he sounded like he was either too tired to talk or it was taking too much effort to say it aloud.

"Yes, now. I want…" Harry said but didn't know how to finish it, he knew his thoughts were stupid and didn't make sense.

"What do you want?" Malfoy whispered and he looked so sad it hurt.

"I want… you to… I want to know what it feels like."  
He muttered, searching for words but didn't know how to express his thoughts by words. He couldn't say to Malfoy he actually wanted them to stop being separate persons, he wanted to melt into Malfoy and stop being Harry.  
He didn't want to exist alone at all.

"Are you sure? I told you the first time hurts." Malfoy was still whispering.

Harry knew he was right although Malfoy had only been studying the subject and didn't have personal experience on the matter. In fact Malfoy had educated Harry about all he ever needed to know about gay sex, which was good because it made the talking about it a lot easier.

Although they had been putting off the… real sex, as Harry called it, because they'd been waiting for the right moment, it did come up in the conversation more than enough all the time because naturally they were thinking about it.  
It was exactly the right moment now, Harry thought, there was no doubt about it in Harry's mind. He didn't even want sex; he simply wanted Draco Malfoy to be as close to him as it was physically possible.

"Yes, do it." Harry said and suffered at the loss of warmth as Malfoy got up enough to get rid of their green silky pants, tossing them carelessly on the floor, just like his own shirt and also Harry's. Harry was forced to move a little to let Malfoy pull it off.  
He felt cold, missing Malfoy's skin as he watched Malfoy perform spells he still hadn't bothered to learn himself.

Malfoy knew way too much about these things because he grabbed a pillow effortlessly, like he'd done it many times before and gave Harry a kiss before placing the pillow under Harry's lower back. Harry watched him as he sat there, between Harry's spread thighs and smirked before leaning down and kissing Harry's inner thighs.  
Harry swallowed and made a small 'mmh' sound in the back of his throat. Malfoy's lips and tongue were gentle, and yes, very loving.

"Come here" Harry whispered while admiring the small smirk on Draco's face.  
Malfoy crawled next to Harry, kissed him on the cheek before placing his elbow next to Harry's shoulder, so he could watch Harry in the eyes while he placed his hand between the Gryffindor's thighs.  
All the sadness in the grey eyes seemed to be replaced by excitement as his fingers rubbed the lube on Harry's skin.  
Harry liked the look on Malfoy's face but didn't say anything, just waited for Malfoy to proceed with his actions.  
"Relax." Malfoy whispered and Harry closed his eyes and took a deep breath.  
Malfoy did it, he gently pushed one finger in and no, it didn't hurt as much as Harry was expecting it to, so he said,

"That's the first one?" He opened his eyes and smiled a little because Malfoy seemed so expectant, clearly absorbing Harry's every expression.  
"Yeah. Doesn't hurt?" Malfoy whispered and actually smiled, Harry wasn't sure if he'd seen a smile like that on his face very often.

"Not at all. Give me more." Harry's smile got bigger as there was small flash of mischievousness on Malfoy's look.  
Harry really didn't want to turn this into a competition of _how much can you take before you beg me to stop?_

Apparently Malfoy didn't either since he was more serious as he inserted the second one. Now it did hurt, just a bit, but there was no doubt about the fact it felt a bit uncomfortable.

Harry clenched his jaw, closed his eyes and took a deep breath.  
"Want me to stop?" Malfoy asked with a low voice.

"No, definitely not." Harry muttered and opened his eyes to look into Malfoy's.

It hit him right then, the knowledge of some part of Malfoy was inside him; it felt strange and very good at the same time. He wanted to say that but didn't, simply stared into Malfoy's eyes.  
Malfoy was moving his fingers, stretching him, and Harry really didn't mind the uncomfortable feeling. He tilted his head a bit encouraging Malfoy to kiss him and they did.

Harry bit Malfoy's lower lip a bit and tried to stay relaxed.

"Go on." Harry muttered and moaned as Malfoy forced the third finger in; the uncomfortable feeling was almost turning into pain.  
"Don't pull it out," Harry muttered as he clenched his jaw and took another deep breath.

Malfoy didn't move his fingers at all, simply let Harry to adapt to the feeling, which was quite strong now and close to simple pain. Harry knew he was the type of person who could take physical pain quite well. It was more the mental pain which he wasn't good at taking.

"Does it hurt a lot?" Malfoy muttered and Harry opened his eyes which he had squeezed shut.

"Just a bit," He smiled to Malfoy a little, in order to express the fact that he could take it and Malfoy needn't to worry about that.

Malfoy kissed him, very gently and Harry liked it. The uncomfortable feeling wasn't subsiding so Harry figured it wasn't going to go away at all. That thought made him say,  
"You might as well do it already."

Malfoy smiled and frowned a little, "You're sure about this?"

Harry kissed him gently and muttered, "Yes. Let's do it."

"Alright," Malfoy whispered but Harry could tell the Slytherin was probably just as nervous as Harry, if not even more so.  
Malfoy pulled the fingers out slowly and the pain increased just a little before subsiding a little. Malfoy made another set of spells although Harry thought it didn't really matter if they used all the lubrication in the world, it would surely hurt like hell anyway.

Yes, Harry could see it, Malfoy was nervous as he took a deep breath and looked Harry in the eyes, "You're absolutely sure you want this?"

"Yes. And you?" Harry asked.

Malfoy hesitated for a second before replying, "Yes but aren't you scared?"

Harry smiled a little, "Less than you are apparently."

Malfoy narrowed his eyes a little and Harry grinned, "You're so going to regret saying that, Potter."

He placed himself between Harry thighs and Harry couldn't help but throw his head back, concentrate on staying relaxed and remember to breath.

He clenched his jaw as the pain became worse than before. He clutched the blanked since he couldn't really reach any part of Draco well enough to dig his fingers into his skin.  
"Ow, don't move!" Harry shouted as the pain seemed to become worse all the time.

"I haven't moved an inch, Potter, relax." Malfoy muttered and Harry opened his eyes to see what was going on.  
Draco Malfoy was clearly struggling with not moving an inch.  
It would've been funny unless the pain was making Harry swallow the urge to scream.

"I really need to move," Malfoy whined.

"Don't you dare!" Harry growled and took a deep breath.

Malfoy made a moan of pain too and asked, "Should I stop?"

"No! Just… don't move. Or… you can try to move, but just an – !"

Harry moaned in pain and gritted his teeth. Malfoy moaned too but it was something else than pain, more like impatience and want.  
Harry opened his eyes again and looked at Malfoy, who had closed his eyes and was biting his lower lip. They were both in some kind of pain, how ironic was that, when they had always hurt each other.

Harry thought about it. Would it always be like that between them, would they always hurt each other even if they were in love? Probably.

"Okay, move." Harry muttered and braced himself for another wave of pain.  
Malfoy opened his eyes and looked at Harry and moved just an inch deeper. Harry gritted his teeth but decided not to say anything and kept his eyes open as an encouragement for Malfoy to keep on going.  
So the Slytherin moved a little, then a little more and finally after what felt like a really long time he was there and asked, "Can I move?"

"No, come here," Harry whispered and Malfoy leaned in as much as he could. Harry had never thought he was flexible and never thought he could be in a position like this but he wouldn't have changed their position for anything, no matter how complicated it was.

Harry wrapped his arms around Malfoy's neck and forced him to lean in a little further so Harry could kiss him. It felt amazing. The uncomfortable feeling really didn't matter; Malfoy's warmth and lips were a good distraction from it.  
"Okay, move." Harry whispered against Malfoy's lips and didn't let the boy go although he knew Malfoy had trouble moving.

Malfoy kissed him again and did move, the sudden pain made Harry say yelp, and Malfoy simply said,  
"I really need to move, honestly, otherwise I'll…"  
Harry looked at him, Malfoy's brow was furrowed; Harry suddenly thought the Slytherin looked funny that way.  
Or maybe he'd been even more nervous about all this than he'd thought, because now he suddenly felt like laughing.  
So he did laugh and Malfoy's expression changed like he'd been in severe pain, moaning and then almost shouting,  
"Don't laugh! It makes me… ah, no, don't!"

Harry laughed even harder when he realised Malfoy would come right there and then.  
"Don't! Ah, fuck, I'm coming…"  
Malfoy muttered and gave up the fighting and moved just as much as he could before arching his back, moaning, holding his breath and Harry's smile disappeared right then.

Draco looked amazing, tilting his head back like that and shaking. It felt amazing too, Draco Malfoy's cock was inside him and he was coming and it was good, the pain really wasn't that bad and was definitely worth it all.  
As Malfoy collapsed on Harry and panted against his shoulder, Harry brushed his blond hair and caressed his sweaty back.

"Damn you, Potter, I'm so disappointed in us. This wasn't romantic at all." Malfoy muttered, sounding exhausted.  
Harry smiled and kissed his shoulder, he really loved Malfoy's shoulders.

"I didn't know you were a romantic." Harry whispered and kissed his shoulder again, licked it.

"I'm not one but…" Malfoy muttered and panted some more.

"Well I promise I'll make it romantic when I fuck you." Harry said and enjoyed when Malfoy moaned at the thought.  
When Malfoy was thinking of getting up, Harry wrapped his arms tighter around him and whispered, "Don't pull out."

"No?" Malfoy whispered back.

"No, stay." Harry said and kissed the gorgeous shoulder once more.  
Malfoy was so warm, nice and familiar. All the mental the pain had suddenly gone away, he didn't even remember it anymore. He barely remembered how they ended up in this and the thought came back now, how would he be able to leave after this? He probably couldn't.  
He wouldn't be able to exist without Malfoy's body. No, the mere thought was unbearable.

"I love you." Harry whispered and Malfoy sighed, satisfied and kissed Harry's neck.

"Can you feel our heartbeats?" Malfoy whispered and Harry concentrated on the feeling, yes, he could feel it, their hearts were beating in the same rhythm.

He smiled and whispered, "Yeah. Now THAT is romantic."

Harry could feel how Malfoy grinned against his neck before snuggling even closer and Harry had no idea how Malfoy could even breathe being so close, but Harry loved it.  
He realised they were the closest you can ever get to anyone. They could've been just one person.  
Malfoy muttered, "We should've been sorted into Hufflepuff."  
Harry laughed.  
Oh dear Lord, he loved Draco Malfoy so much he wanted to shout it to the whole world.  
Malfoy muttered, sounding sleepy, "Can I suck you off?"

Harry blinked and hesitated, he really wasn't ready to let the Slytherin's warmth go,  
"Yeah but only if you return to this exact same spot afterwards."

Draco raised his head and gave Harry a kiss, "I will."


	5. Accio Reality

Zinnia says: I'm afraid this is the last chapter. Check my profile to know what I'm planning to do next. Thanks for all the reviews and private messages, they make me want to write eternally.

Chapter 5 _**Accio reality**_

Harry slowly woke up and yawned. It was Christmas morning and he was holding something in his hand. He didn't have to open his eyes to know it was a snitch.  
He smiled, opened his eyes and found a pair of smoky grey eyes watching him.

"Oh no, you didn't! How long have you been watching me?" Harry grinned.

"A while." Draco whispered and kissed Harry's bare chest.  
Then he asked Harry, "Ready for breakfast?"

Harry nodded sleepily. He really didn't want to get up but Malfoy rarely wanted to go anywhere in the mornings so he thought he should take advantage of the situation.

Half an hour later they were sitting in the Gryffindor table and Malfoy was glaring at Neville, who was reading a poem.

"I swear to you, Longbottom. If you don't stop doing that while I'm around, I'll throw a boiled egg at you."

Neville smiled a little and put the book down. Almost all the other Gryffindors had gone home for Christmas. They had stayed; he and Malfoy.  
Harry felt good. It had taken some time but they were adapting into each other's lives so well Harry didn't think they could ever be without each other again. They sometimes talked about future but only about small things.  
Those small things did reveal the fact both of them had actually thought about their future and both of them had assumed the other would be there, they would stay together.

It felt safe. If felt good. It felt like Draco was his family. And he assumed he was Draco's too although there was always Draco's mother. Harry was relieved Narcissa hadn't ended up in Azkaban.

The owls came in and it wasn't a surprise they were carrying Christmas packages in their beaks. A huge package was dropped right in front of Harry; his breakfast got squashed by it.

"Wow! What is this?" Harry was excited and quickly unwrapped the package.

"What? It can't be!" It was the newest broom on the market and Harry had been fantasizing about it since the moment he'd seen it in a shop window last summer but he never dared to buy it since it was awfully expensive.

"Who on earth would buy me this? This costs a fortune!" He said and touched the dark green piece of wood. It felt so smooth, and it was so beautiful, the handle was golden.  
He grinned at Malfoy, who didn't look surprised at all but looking rather smug.

"You? Draco, you didn't! Please tell me you didn't!" Harry smiled. Draco was simply smiling and pouring himself some more tea.

"Right. It was you!" Harry burst, feigning to be angry. Then he pointed his finger at Malfoy,

"You! Let's go, we're going flying! Now!" He stood up, grabbed the broom and marched towards the Great Hall entrance. He turned to look over his shoulder; Malfoy was calmly getting up and following him in no hurry at all.

Once Malfoy reached him, Harry grabbed his arm and pulled him along and into the corridor. He dragged the Slytherin along until they were in the Slytherin dungeon, where he pushed Malfoy against the wall and kissed him roughly, smothering him and Draco moaned, clearly weak in the knees suddenly.

"When did you buy it?" Harry asked.

"The day I was released. I saw you watching it on a shop window and… I thought…"

Malfoy was hesitating, clearly returning to the day in his thoughts.

"You thought what?" Harry asked.

"That it would be a good way to say thank you for what you did." Malfoy seemed a little nervous as he looked into Harry's eyes.

"The testimony you mean?" Harry asked, wondering where Malfoy's hesitation was coming from.

"That, and… also for something else you did, a little earlier. I thought it was good in symbolic way too."  
Malfoy muttered. Harry tried to think back but couldn't figure it out, Malfoy was impatient,

"Think Harry. Why would I thank you for something which I thought broom was symbolic to?"

The smoke of the memory faintly smelled in Harry's nose as he confirmed his thoughts, "The fire."

Malfoy nodded, he looked grave. Harry swallowed. He placed a hand on Malfoy's hip and squeezed a little. Then he leaned in and kissed Malfoy's neck.

Malfoy said, "I was going to give it to you way back, anonymously of course but I thought you deserved it. Then those devils came and everything turned into a nightmare once more. I knew I'd give it to you after I saved you somehow but… yeah, I thought it was good as a Christmas gift too."

"You have no idea how much I love you, Draco Malfoy, you have no idea." Harry said and kissed him gently, then more firmly and it went on at least five minutes but who counted anyway.

"Come fly with me." Harry whispered into his lips.

"Can I ride with you?" Malfoy whispered back.

"That's what I meant." Harry said.

"That'll be the first time since, you know." Malfoy whispered his eyes closed.

"It is? Good, then we get even more symbolic value for our broom." Harry muttered and enjoyed the way Malfoy's eyes flew open.

"Let's go and get your jacket." Harry said and grabbed the boy's arm.

Less than half an hour later they were outside and it was snowing but it wasn't cold or windy.

Harry was grinning; he had no idea when he had been this happy the last time.  
Well, maybe last night but now he was just as happy.

Harry mounted the broom and turned to look at Malfoy, who was hesitating.  
"Come on."  
Harry encouraged him and Malfoy did sit on the broom behind Harry and wrapped his arms around him.

Harry took off and Malfoy's arms were trying to choke him but he didn't mind, he knew the Slytherin would relax once they got somewhere nice.

So they flew and Harry laughed because the air felt good, Malfoy's arms felt good, the new broom was perfect; everything was perfect.

"Potter!" Malfoy shouted right into his ear through the wind.

"What?" Harry shouted back.

"Let's get down there!" Malfoy released his grip enough to point a field, which was covered in snow.

"Okay!" Harry shouted back and slowed their speed. Once they landed he asked,

"Why did we come down here?" He blinked, the snow was reflecting the sky's light and everything was so white his eyes hurt.  
He dropped the broom and turned to look at Malfoy, who was smiling.

"To do this" Malfoy said, took a step closer and kissed Harry firmly.

Harry pulled away soon, just to say, "I think you've learned to like reality again."

Malfoy nodded and said, "I don't want to stop our weekend trips to the Cupboard though."

They had been adjusting back to reality by spending quite a lot of time in the Cupboard because Draco had felt safer there. Now they had reduced the Cupboard time only on weekends (which they often extended by a day or several, depending on how they felt and how much they could spend time in the same space without it turning into a constant fighting, which didn't matter anyway since most times the fighting turned into fucking.)

"Me neither" Harry said and kissed him again. Draco pulled him down on the snow, laid on his back and his eyes looked almost white as all the surrounding whiteness, including the sky, were reflecting from them. Harry kissed him again and again until Draco said,  
"Is it okay if we go to my mum's for tonight?"

Harry's eyes flew open; it was the first time Draco wanted to take Harry to the manor. Harry did know Draco had told his mother about them a while ago and as far as Harry knew she'd been quite alright with it. Harry had had time to accept the fact that Narcissa Malfoy would be a part of his life just as long as Draco was so he really didn't mind spending time in the manor if that was what Draco wanted.

"Fine by me. Do you want to go?" Harry asked.

Draco shrugged, his nose was a bit red from the coldness; he looked cute.

"I think we should. It would be the right thing to do. Although I sort of wished the whole world would go somewhere else and leave us alone." Draco smiled a little.

Harry simply had to kiss him again, he couldn't resist; the Slytherin was too adorable.  
Harry wondered what Malfoy would think about his modest gift, which now felt extremely stupid since Harry had only bought him a lot of clothes made of green silk. He thought at the time it was fine because Harry had never returned the ones Malfoy had duplicated for him long time ago.

He'd also been thinking it would be good to take Malfoy shopping and let him point out something he really wanted. Harry knew Draco was extremely bored with material. He was used to it, yes, but he appreciated things with some sort of personal meaning behind them. Harry knew how much Malfoy liked Harry's snitch. He had several times forced Harry to put it in his mouth so the carved text would appear. Harry couldn't let him have it though.

What? Of course he would give Malfoy the snitch. Of course he would. Because they were together, and everything which was his, was Malfoy's too and vice versa.

_He has my heart, soul and everything else too, let him have the snitch if it makes him happy,_ Harry thought and Draco's voice cut through his thinking as he whispered,

"Harry, I love you."


End file.
